Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

This is coming out the same day as KILL BILL. I don’t care if this is a lesser-than-average Coen Bros. film. The fact that they have a movie coming out the same day as Tarantino should make this a banner fucking month ahead, eh, kids?

Hey, everybody. Capone in Chicago here with a review of the latest from the Coen Brothers, two of the most reliable S.O.B.s in recent film history. On the day I saw this film, I'd actually started in a line for an early screening of the latest Woody Allen film. Some nice lady came up to me and said, "I have an extra pass for INTOLERABLE CRUELTY. Would you...?" Grab, entrance, popcorn, seat.

This film also marks the Coens return to a Hollywood-financed production, which I know has some people worried. While INTOLERABLE CRUELTY has some true Coen Brother moments, characters, and humor, it does not rank among the finest works (I'll let the peanut gallery argue over what those are). The fact that there are four names listed as screenwriters (including Joel and Ethan) might have something to do with what's lacking here, but more it's the sense of So What that I got while watching it. Sure, I was glad to see the Coens reunite with two of their best leading men (George Clooney and Billy Bob Thornton); yes, I was glad to see Catherine Zeta Jones looking sexier than I've ever seen her; of course, supporting players like Geoffrey Rush and Cedric the Entertainer absolutely nail their performances. But something's missing here, and I think most of you will agree.

INTOLERABLE CRUELTY is sort of the opposite of a bedroom sex comedy; its a serial divorce romp. The film opens with Geoffrey Rush's television producer Donovan Donnelly (you'll notice many "clever" names in this movie) walking in on the tail end of his wife cheating on him. He is clearly in the right when divorce time comes, but he's no match for superstar lawyer Miles Massey (Clooney), a suave, well-dressed man with blinding white teeth (which he is constantly checking out in any reflective surface available), Massey takes Donnelly for all that he's worth against all odds. Next we meet Gus Petch (Cedric) a private dick whose specialty is barging into bedrooms with a video camera and capturing cheating husbands in compromising positions. His slogan: "I'm gonna nail your ass!" Indeed. In this case, Gus barges in on the hotel room of one Rex Rexroth (Edward Herrmann), extremely rich husband to Marilyn Rexroth (Zeta-Jones). Unfortunately for her, Rex hires Massey and screw her out of a single cent. Needless to say, Marilyn is royally pissed and she begins to hatch a plan to crush and humiliate Massey. He of course is madly in love with her.

I don't want to get too much deeper into the story because there are some genuine surprises and plot twists that are worth preserving. They involve Thornton, who plays Marilyn's next rich husband, a Texas oil baron named Howard Doyle (of Doyle Oil; see how clever that is?); and a legendary document known only as the Massey Pre-nup. Clooney shows an extraordinary range here. He's going for broke. His heretofore unseen comic timing is perfect, his machine-gun delivery is a knock out, and his body language is screamingly funny. Zeta-Jones is also a live wire in this role. She simmers with evil-doing more than she boils over (which is good). I want to talk more about Thornton's performance, which at first seems like a little too generic cowboy. It isn't until much later in the film that you realize the brilliance of his work. You'll see, you'll see.

The problems with INTOLERABLE CRUELTY lie in its second half. Some of the attempts at humor simply die. There's a courtroom exchange between Clooney, his associate, and a client about appearing before a certain judge that isn't funny for one second and goes on far too long. There are sequences involving a marital lawyers convention in Las Vegas that are drawn out and added nothing to the film. My feeling is that this could have been as bile-filled and vicious and WAR OF THE ROSES. Instead, we get a very PG-13, watered-down piece that turns goodie-goodie far too quick.

There are some classic Coen elements here to be sure. An asthmatic hit man named Wheezy Joe, a prancing European concierge, and a great cameo by a certain BUBBA HO TEP/EVIL DEAD star that is doubly riotous if you know a little about his acting history. But something isn't clicking here. Maybe things are moving too fast or the lines are too silly, but more than that, the movie is missing dark edges and subtle nuances we've come to expect from such master fillmmakers as the Coen Brothers. As much as you need someone to cheer for, you need someone to root against. And just when you think you've found that person, they go schizo on you and turn nice. Where's the fun in that? INTOLERABLE CRUELTY is hardly painful to sit through. There are so many attempts at humor per minute that a few are bound to make to chuckle; I know I did. But I couldn't escape the feeling that these folks were trying way too hard to make me laugh. Still, the top-notch talent involved in the making of this movie keeps it from falling flat on its face. Coen devotees will be both pleased and disappointed. Fair-weather fans may consider skipping this one. I was going to begin the review by saying I was torn, but the fact is I shouldn't be by a film by these two directors. This could have been great, and it simply isn't. But that doesn't mean it's not worth seeing. Maybe I am torn...

Capone

It’s funny. Only Joel is ever actually credited as the director of their films. Joel and Ethan co-write, and Ethan produces, but it’s Joel who is the credited director. Most people simply think of them as one directorial coherent unit, though. I think they just leave that strong an imprint as a team. At any rate, I want to see this one right after KILL BILL. Same day, if possible. I’m flying on the day of release, but that’s why God created midnight shows...

"Moriarty" out.