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Mammoth Herds!! Prehistoric Attack Ostriches!! Roland Emmerich!! It Must Be A 10,000 B.C. Trailer & A Way-In-Advance Review!!

Merrick here...

I've been really curious about this film for some time, and appreciate the irony / symmetry of our first test screening review arriving on the same day the trailer is unveiled.

I heard about this film a while back & didn't know what to expect. Like all things Emmerich, this seems to have a great look and heaps of audacity...qualities I consistently appreciate in the director.
Nonetheless, this is strange territory for any filmmaker, and many folks have tried and failed to walk this road in the past.

Could certainly be a lot of fun & pretty damn dazzling. Or, it could be dopey as hell. Or, both.

First, CLICK SOME MAMMOTH ASS to check out the trailer:





Okay, with that out of the way...

Towerman sent his notes after a recent test screening of the film. Keep in mind that the version Towerman saw is not the final edit of the film; many changes could be made between now and the movie's release next March.

PLEASE NOTE: MODERATE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Here's what Towerman had to say:

Just got back from a test screening of Roland Emmerich's 10,000 B.C. at the Lakewood Center North Stadium 16 Theatre in Lakewood, Calif. The invitation said that I should arrive by 6:45 p.m. I'm no fool(well, maybe I am) so I arrived at 5:45 p.m. I'm glad I did because when I got there, there were about 25 people in line. While there I filled out the required information cards and exchanged my invitation for an actual ticket (I provided them with my email address so I hope they contact me for future screenings).

Also, some guy working for another marketing company was there scanning the line for audience members to attend a future screening of "Smiley Face" which I soon found out from someone standing in line that "Smiley Face" was code for "Harold and Kumar 2". I decided to pass.

Anyway after waiting in line for about an hour and a half, they began to let us in 25 people at a time. They are strict on security at these things. I felt like I was at LAX going through a TSA baggage inspection line. If you had any bags whatsoever,you were required to open it up for inspection. No recording devices were allowed of course but rather than have people with recordable cellphones go through the hassle of returning to their cars to leave their phones they were advised to turn them off. So I went in and secured my seat which just happened to be surrounded by reserve seats for the Warner Bros. suits and associates from the film. I suspected that Roland would be attending so I was excited when two gentlemen sat in the two seats in front of me and started conversing in German only to find out upon closer inspection that neither one of them was Roland.

Well I didn't have to wait too long because about 10 minutes before the movie began, Roland came in accompanied by some executives and sat about two seats behind me. Soon a guy who was in charge of the screening came up front to thank us for attending and to tell us that we would be the first of the general public to see the film and he asked us to stay afterwards for a "special announcement"(filling out response cards).He also informs us that some of the effects were incomplete as well as the lighting and color corrections. "Ladies and Gentlemen", he says, "10,000 B.C.!"

The lights dim and movie begins with the Warner Brothers logo superimposed over a snow covered landscape. We soon see a scene where Camiila Belle's character(Evolet) as a child is undergoing a spiritual ceremony conducted by her tribe's spiritual leader, an old woman named Old Mother( Mona Hammond). At the same time she is being watched by D'leh( a young boy) who obviously is in love with her. Old Mother conducts her ceremonies in their native tongue and all is well until a caustic event during one of her spiritual chants gives her the ability to speak English. This ability is transferred to other members of the tribe and throughout the rest of film becomes their language of choice. At first I must say it was a little jarring to see them all of sudden speaking English but I got use to it after awhile. (I guess the filmmakers did not want to go the Mel Gibson route and use subtitles through the whole film).

Some of the actors I thought looked too contemporary and too good looking for the roles they were playing and I had a hard time believing that they were pre-historic men ( no offense Geico Cavemen). And Camilla, well she is just so damn beautiful! Perhaps a little too beautiful to be believeable in the role she is playing(think Racquel Welch in One Million B.C.).

Well after a Mammoth hunt in which he "accidently" kills one, D'leh(Steven Strait) returns to his tribe where he is seen as hero especially by his love, Evolet and his mentor Tic-Tic (Cliff Curtis).But he confesses to Evolet that he killed the mammoth by accident and that he is no great hunter.It is here that we find out that he has doubts about his abilities. Evolet then gives him an inspirational talk. It is the last one they would have for awhile for soon later that night Evolet and others get kidnapped by an enemy tribe whose leader has the hots for her and wants to keep her for himself but turn the others over as slaves to an advance race of people who look like Egyptians(they need slaves to build the pyramids).

D'leh begins his quest to find Evolet and bring her home and enlist the help of Tic-Tic and other tribesmen along with a young boy who's mother was killed in the kidnap/massacre. He also enlist the help of an small army of black tribesmen who have their own axe to grind with the goons that kidnapped Evolet. It is at this point in the film where I am reminded of John Ford's 1956 classic "The Searchers" where John Wayne spends years looking for his young niece who was kidnapped by indians however this has since become a common plot point so I don't consider it a rip-off but rather an inspiration. It also at this point where our hero gets to test his fighting skills for during his quest for his love he must fight pre-historic ostritches( almost as bad-ass as velociraptors), Mammoths and Saber-tooth tigers. In case you haven't guess, there are no dinosaurs in this film because they became extinct 65 million years ago way before the dawn of the Ice Age which is when this film takes place.

I believe that the film's strong points are it's action scenes and is weak points are it's acting scenes. It's a pretty simple story, one that has been told through the ages: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy battles prehistoric animals to get girl back, boy loses girl again, boy comes back with an army and a befriended sabertooth tiger to get girl back, Boy marries girl (in a prehistoric way). Boy and Girl live happily ever after (at least until The Ice Age begins).

Despite some of it's weaknesses I still consider it worth seeing even in it's primitive( no pun intended) form. I thought that the film had a strong finish when they stormed the enemy tribe's territory to try to rescue Evolet. When the bad guys got their comeuppance, the audience clapped.

The film looks almost complete they just need to make the necessary adjustments to the color, lighting and maybe sound. The CGI was all there but some of was it incomplete so they will have to render in the details. When it's released on March 7th, 2008 I will go see it again to see what was left in, taken out or added in. I also want to see the CGI fully detailed

Well, until next time Towerman out!






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Reader Talkback

First
by ROBRAM89
Jul 11th, 2007
10:39:11 PM
almost
by Philvis
Jul 11th, 2007
10:46:50 PM
Fourth
by darrenspool
Jul 11th, 2007
10:49:34 PM
Zug Zug
by TheBloop
Jul 11th, 2007
10:49:39 PM
It will be interesting to see
by Philvis
Jul 11th, 2007
10:51:33 PM
Looks pretty good I guess
by supermarch
Jul 11th, 2007
10:54:52 PM
could The Borg assimilate a mammoth?
by Boomers_Lips
Jul 11th, 2007
10:55:41 PM
Damn it all to hell
by supermarch
Jul 11th, 2007
10:56:09 PM
Hell I'll watch it.
by krushjudgement
Jul 11th, 2007
10:57:02 PM
Me like
by Aloy
Jul 11th, 2007
10:57:20 PM
I hate reviews that are more than half setup
by jimmy_009
Jul 11th, 2007
10:59:16 PM
They speak English?
by darrenspool
Jul 11th, 2007
10:59:52 PM
Wow...
by batzilla
Jul 11th, 2007
11:00:26 PM
Oh come on now Nosferatu
by QuinnTheEskimo
Jul 11th, 2007
11:11:14 PM
So this story takes place before GLOBAL WARMING
by Mace Tofu
Jul 11th, 2007
11:13:02 PM
Hmm...
by Veni Vidi Vici
Jul 11th, 2007
11:24:43 PM
What would have been a clever shot in trailer...
by ribbitking
Jul 11th, 2007
11:25:16 PM
Smiley Face is probably code for Smiley Face.
by Bungion Boy
Jul 11th, 2007
11:26:01 PM
Clan of the Cave Bear Pt. 2?
by Zardoz
Jul 11th, 2007
11:29:05 PM
Not a big Djimon Honsou fan
by Buck Turgidson
Jul 11th, 2007
11:33:24 PM
Good Grief
by Clio
Jul 11th, 2007
11:38:59 PM
HAHAHA GLOBAL WARMING JOKES
by ScamsAndFlams
Jul 11th, 2007
11:48:10 PM
While nowhere near an exceptional story teller so far..
by drompter
Jul 12th, 2007
12:03:13 AM
Mammoths?
by bralli
Jul 12th, 2007
12:07:20 AM
Bring back the mammoths!!!
by godoffireinhell
Jul 12th, 2007
12:17:19 AM
Camilla Belle is THE TRUTH
by topaz4206
Jul 12th, 2007
12:20:23 AM
I can't even begin to explain how innacurate this is
by cammywobs
Jul 12th, 2007
12:28:19 AM
Historical Accuracy or Hysterical Accuracy?
by ScienceMan
Jul 12th, 2007
12:37:05 AM
I don't know why...
by Crimson King
Jul 12th, 2007
12:40:42 AM
Way to correct 'em ScienceMan!
by Gheorghe Zamfir
Jul 12th, 2007
12:47:13 AM
How will they sell the title in non-christian areas?
by ribbitking
Jul 12th, 2007
12:47:48 AM
Apocolypto meets Ice Age
by Kraken
Jul 12th, 2007
12:59:00 AM
You sure that's not prequel to TROY?
by turk128
Jul 12th, 2007
01:13:44 AM
I Await the Movie
by JaggedSac
Jul 12th, 2007
01:38:18 AM
Crimson King
by ScienceMan
Jul 12th, 2007
02:00:20 AM
re: spelling
by tailgunner111
Jul 12th, 2007
02:12:24 AM
from the director of Independence Day and...
by BadMrWonka
Jul 12th, 2007
02:46:18 AM
and to me, historical accuracy is only important if
by BadMrWonka
Jul 12th, 2007
02:58:33 AM
This looks like shyt! It looks like different periods..
by The Founder
Jul 12th, 2007
03:00:24 AM
Looks slick, suggests a stone age Apocalypto
by KillaKane
Jul 12th, 2007
03:05:12 AM
CGI does not seem to evolve
by DonRivella
Jul 12th, 2007
03:30:23 AM
Another Sugar coated Turd from Roland rat
by FILMFUNK
Jul 12th, 2007
03:35:58 AM
THIS YEARS LIL MISS APOCALYPTO!!!
by DECKERS
Jul 12th, 2007
03:37:46 AM
Emmerich is, at least, reliably stupid
by Franklin T Marmoset
Jul 12th, 2007
03:45:55 AM
Seriously...
by What Am I Doing 2 Myself
Jul 12th, 2007
04:00:21 AM
BTW....
by What Am I Doing 2 Myself
Jul 12th, 2007
04:05:41 AM
Camilla Belle
by yodalovesyou
Jul 12th, 2007
04:54:33 AM
what am I doing to myself
by BadMrWonka
Jul 12th, 2007
05:37:11 AM
This looks beyond retarded
by Andy Warhol Jr
Jul 12th, 2007
05:50:34 AM
BTW, the review is plant
by Andy Warhol Jr
Jul 12th, 2007
05:53:09 AM
No Dinosaurs?
by Yeti
Jul 12th, 2007
06:34:02 AM
I'm hoping we see the pilgrims land in this movie too
by just pillow talk
Jul 12th, 2007
06:46:21 AM
ID4 was the last Emmerich movie worth watching...
by vezner2007
Jul 12th, 2007
06:47:29 AM
POOOKA, motherfucker!
by Daddylonghead
Jul 12th, 2007
06:58:29 AM
Does "10,000 BC" have Raquel Welch in a fur-kini?
by Daddylonghead
Jul 12th, 2007
07:02:55 AM
Where the hell was Chaka?
by Uncle Stan
Jul 12th, 2007
07:04:42 AM
Is Shia la Boof playing a mammoth?
by JackPumpkinhead
Jul 12th, 2007
07:16:55 AM
What Am I Doing 2 Myself
by Nice Marmot
Jul 12th, 2007
07:18:26 AM
Apocalypto & Subtitles = Realism
by riddleman1674
Jul 12th, 2007
07:34:51 AM
God help me, I want to see this
by rev_skarekroe
Jul 12th, 2007
07:45:43 AM
bralli...
by rev_skarekroe
Jul 12th, 2007
07:52:22 AM
So aliens didn't build the pyramids.
by Drewchem08
Jul 12th, 2007
07:59:48 AM
The rise of Dumbhouse
by Franklin T Marmoset
Jul 12th, 2007
08:01:47 AM
supermarch...sorry
by Philvis
Jul 12th, 2007
08:11:12 AM
So aliens didn't build the pyramids.
by Drewchem08
Jul 12th, 2007
08:17:21 AM
Two words ...
by vaskark
Jul 12th, 2007
08:47:34 AM
sounds like a typical Roland Emmerich movie to me
by future help
Jul 12th, 2007
08:51:39 AM
Where's this set? Anyway, its HERESY!!!
by Col. Tigh-Fighter
Jul 12th, 2007
08:56:36 AM
Good Grief.
by J.B.M.A.
Jul 12th, 2007
09:12:26 AM
Good trailer
by homer40
Jul 12th, 2007
09:15:07 AM
Pyramids...
by Philvis
Jul 12th, 2007
09:30:41 AM
Well, I've heard that...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jul 12th, 2007
09:46:16 AM
I survived just fine
by Guy Gaduois
Jul 12th, 2007
09:57:50 AM
Looks like turds to me.
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Jul 12th, 2007
09:58:31 AM
I want to go to Puerto Viarta/Vallarta.
by Daddylonghead
Jul 12th, 2007
10:02:44 AM
a child is undergoing a spiritual ceremony
by Bill Brasky
Jul 12th, 2007
10:05:12 AM
I am not gay, but John Cena is one fine-looking man.
by Daddylonghead
Jul 12th, 2007
10:07:57 AM
ANd he's not a bad wrestler. No kurt angle or RVD but
by Daddylonghead
Jul 12th, 2007
10:10:12 AM
You guys thought it would be historically accurate
by Lovecraftfan
Jul 12th, 2007
10:10:25 AM
I'll see it, but I'm seeing it stoned.
by kinghenryVIII
Jul 12th, 2007
10:33:00 AM
Quest For Fire
by skimn
Jul 12th, 2007
11:30:42 AM
After "Transformers"...
by GenericGeek
Jul 12th, 2007
11:43:07 AM
Also, I want to see armpit hair on the cavegirls.
by GenericGeek
Jul 12th, 2007
11:47:41 AM
I can safely say I "want, want" to see girls'
by Daddylonghead
Jul 12th, 2007
11:53:10 AM
All you need to know: Boy befreinds Sabertooth
by uberman
Jul 12th, 2007
12:13:31 PM
I think that's a better title: Boy befriends Sabertooth
by just pillow talk
Jul 12th, 2007
12:37:47 PM
ROLAND EMMERICH FATWA!!!!!!!
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
12:43:28 PM
Emmerich sucks...
by Beaverduck
Jul 12th, 2007
12:55:40 PM
Feel the hate flow through us....
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:01:35 PM
Memories of Dick Party
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:05:32 PM
Hey if the orginal can have dinosaurs.....
by TVguy4566
Jul 12th, 2007
01:07:42 PM
Its called Production Design
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:12:14 PM
Cretacious Park
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:13:17 PM
Emmerich movie. Interesting trailer.. Movie will suck
by Knobules
Jul 12th, 2007
01:27:21 PM
Holy Historical Inaccuracies Batman...
by crackerfarmboy
Jul 12th, 2007
01:30:25 PM
Leave Micheal Bay out of This!!!
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:33:09 PM
I like shaky cam
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:34:31 PM
Emmerich to film Transformers Remake
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:39:13 PM
I SAID INTEGRITY COMPARED TO EMMERICH, DUDE
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:42:34 PM
AND....
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:44:21 PM
Slow motion or COOL AS SHIT-motio
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:47:25 PM
The execs and filmmakers always sit near the plants.
by Barry Egan
Jul 12th, 2007
01:47:33 PM
NO SHIT Egan
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:49:00 PM
Megan Fox
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:51:09 PM
Good Christ.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jul 12th, 2007
01:53:40 PM
Memories of Dick Party
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:55:45 PM
FUCK YOU GAIUS
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:57:00 PM
IS IT GAIUS CEASER OR GAIUS CALIGULA?
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
01:57:54 PM
I would like to see Trey Parker's puppet version
by Barry Egan
Jul 12th, 2007
02:02:29 PM
Way to go, LORDRANDO!!!
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jul 12th, 2007
02:03:46 PM
This would be way cooler if Vandal Savage was in it.
by superninja
Jul 12th, 2007
02:07:26 PM
When I saw the preview for
by Automaton Overlord
Jul 12th, 2007
02:09:10 PM
Bingo, Memories-Of-Murder...
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jul 12th, 2007
02:09:47 PM
They need to REMAKE Transformers and...
by spectrebeeyatch
Jul 12th, 2007
02:12:07 PM
My gut instinct after seeing this trailer before HP5
by superninja
Jul 12th, 2007
02:16:16 PM
Who is cooler than Victor Mature?
by superninja
Jul 12th, 2007
02:18:52 PM
Fair enough, Memories-Of-Murder.
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jul 12th, 2007
02:22:19 PM
ALL REDEEMING QUALITIES OF STARGATE
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
02:34:19 PM
PS This trailer sucks ass...
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
02:37:13 PM
We need more dinosaur movies...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 12th, 2007
03:08:12 PM
I never thought I would be one of "those"guys
by RockLobster800
Jul 12th, 2007
03:08:19 PM
ABRAMS?
by LORDRANDO
Jul 12th, 2007
03:19:10 PM
Another movie coming out about a boy and sabertooth pet
by uberman
Jul 12th, 2007
04:09:10 PM
Emmerich and the Search for Godzilla...
by theonecalledshoe
Jul 12th, 2007
05:40:02 PM
Yeah, I want to see Battle Cat on the big screen.
by superninja
Jul 12th, 2007
05:47:44 PM
So, the biggest problem is - too beautiful...?
by Womb2dooM
Jul 12th, 2007
06:13:55 PM
my worstest, lamest nerd-bash? here it is:
by occula
Jul 12th, 2007
07:06:57 PM
Well,
by Lornsorrow
Jul 12th, 2007
07:07:19 PM
Yet,
by Lornsorrow
Jul 12th, 2007
07:08:52 PM
Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis
by kirttawesomio
Jul 12th, 2007
07:59:11 PM
What's wrong with a movie based on......
by Jimmy Jazz
Jul 12th, 2007
08:17:55 PM
i know, i'm ridiculous
by occula
Jul 12th, 2007
08:27:42 PM
Phoenixmagi try looking up "irony" in a dictionary.
by Yeti
Jul 12th, 2007
08:47:36 PM
yummmmy boy but bad movie
by ubersnarf
Jul 12th, 2007
09:58:09 PM
300 Neandrathals
by Red Ned Lynch
Jul 12th, 2007
11:05:00 PM
Oh, and hey Gaius.
by Red Ned Lynch
Jul 12th, 2007
11:11:22 PM
people are bitching about inacurate depicitons?
by Bouncy X
Jul 12th, 2007
11:31:26 PM
Anyone notice the music....
by closeencounter
Jul 12th, 2007
11:55:47 PM
Roland E.
by darthvedder81
Jul 13th, 2007
12:57:49 AM
SO they spontaneously learn English?
by IndustryKiller!
Jul 13th, 2007
01:07:22 AM
I'm waiting for some scientist to clone a mammoth
by Coughlins Laws
Jul 13th, 2007
01:12:44 AM
This will be brilliant!!!*
by abulafia24
Jul 13th, 2007
01:37:46 AM
300 is an artistic interpretation of a historical event
by superninja
Jul 13th, 2007
01:41:54 AM
abula, I know that the Egyptian pyramids had
by superninja
Jul 13th, 2007
01:44:35 AM
Way to leak the JJ Abrams Trek plot, Boomers_Lips
by BrandLoyalist
Jul 13th, 2007
06:42:21 AM
I would keep Camilla Belle all to myself too
by BringingSexyBack
Jul 13th, 2007
06:55:18 AM
Dr. Sanjay Gupta is a cumlicker
by BringingSexyBack
Jul 13th, 2007
06:58:46 AM
All these gigantic...
by Kid Z
Jul 13th, 2007
07:28:25 AM
Yeah Coughlin...
by Kid Z
Jul 13th, 2007
07:31:35 AM
Plickety,.. plickety...
by Quintus_Arrius
Jul 13th, 2007
07:33:52 AM
Red Ned Lynch
by Mr. Nice Gaius
Jul 13th, 2007
08:34:14 AM
THIS IS APOCALYPTO WITH MAMMOTHS
by BringingSexyBack
Jul 13th, 2007
09:06:28 AM
I hated Independence Day
by disfigurehead
Jul 13th, 2007
09:25:59 AM
Dum Guy...
by Kid Z
Jul 13th, 2007
09:29:23 AM
BringingSexyBack... Gupta..?
by workshed
Jul 13th, 2007
10:05:56 AM
SoylentMean
by crackerfarmboy
Jul 13th, 2007
10:06:18 AM
BSB
by superninja
Jul 13th, 2007
12:07:15 PM
No, she's probably fine. She will get a lot more
by superninja
Jul 13th, 2007
01:34:53 PM
Robert Howard?!?! Try ERB
by Elvis Cole Lives
Jul 13th, 2007
01:39:08 PM
I don't care if it's a fantasy that's fine, it just
by superninja
Jul 13th, 2007
02:10:21 PM
Iwas totally interested in this flick...
by VinnyMac666
Jul 13th, 2007
02:14:05 PM
Bring Ringo!!!!!
by ludmir88
Jul 13th, 2007
02:21:29 PM
PULP!
by CuervoJones
Jul 13th, 2007
02:24:06 PM
Robert E. Howard´s The Garden of Fear
by CuervoJones
Jul 13th, 2007
02:27:55 PM
Is this for real?
by superninja
Jul 13th, 2007
02:32:10 PM
WB network, like Dawson's Creek with mammoths.
by superninja
Jul 13th, 2007
04:34:21 PM

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