Where's the rest of the CoC then?

Apologies to the Toronto TB'ers. None of that has anything to do with Toronto.

These films look very interesting, but they probably won't make it to the theaters here. I'll have to catch them on video, most likely.

Mavra - the Thursday Next books go Eyre Affair, Lost In A Good Book, Well Of Lost Plots, Something Rotten & First Among Sequels.

Thanks, Wolf. Got that list organized! I queue the library like some of you queue Netflix.

Btw, the second person I loaned "The Host" to said she cried at the ending. Wow! She seriously got into that one!

Most diffcult scene to watch (for me):Drillbra. OUCH!!!!

Loved the little bloopers where she's fighting and you see her left hand and also the "football" ninjas of vengeance. Gotta ask, though, if she thinks they have bullet-proof vests, why not aim for the head or legs (plus one guy wasn't even wearing a shirt), but that's just nit-picking. I give the movie an A all around!

"It is boring, uninspired and completely nonsensical, it really feels like they cut out at least 30 minutes of important plot/explanations. And the action is minimal and utterly underwhelming, so there really is nothing to enjoy at all. Dismal, avoid at all cost."

Also, I'd like to point out the stupidity of the product placement, namely the commercial airplane with the huge Coca Cola Zero logo pasted on it. Its like, did Vin Diesel refuse to be seen drinking said soda, so they did that instead? Lame.

Herb, I don't think most of the movies I sent you will be dubbed. I buy mostly the region 3 releases and they don't bother with dubbing. And sometimes their subtitles are laughably translated. I gotta warn you right now, I can't stand dubbed movies so the stuff you'll be getting from me will be 90% subtitled. And if you found Shinobi hard to follow, don't worry, these Asian movies can be like that. You get a feel for it after a while and eventually ignore the disjointed stuff.

But I enjoyed the hell out of Death Race. One of my top 10 of 2008.

also, by my figuring at the end of that movie australia becomes the powerhouse of the world. why? well, it shows, the plains of africa, the pyramids and the sydney opera house. thing is the opera house is in the middle of the sydney cbd, which means australia becomes the only country to retain a city of more than 3m, not to mention melbourne, brisbane and the gold coast. it may be a pipe dream but i'm sticking to it.

And for discussion purposes,for those just coming to these films:

From the first batch my top four were Daisy, The Warlords, Running Wild and Chocolate.

Unlike everyone here, I didn't care much for Machine Girl, though I do acknowledge the allure of it's gory silliness. To my credit, I told HOD after the first viewing that everyone else here would like or love it.

Currently, the new batch is terrific and an improvement over even the first batch. So far I've seen Red Cliff, Shinobi:Heart Under Blade, Guard Post and Invisible Target. All four in some form or another hit their mark, and do so well.

Guard Post really works as a creepy war-based horror film. Red Cliff is a majestic comic book of a chinese epic, and one that totally schools 300 on how to make a stylish battle film about small forces standing against an empire. Shinobi is a Saturday morning cartoon by comparison, but it's addictive and fun and finally poignant on it's own terms. It requires a bit of surrender to it's premise, but it's worth it. And Invisible Target is the return of good HK action films. I mean REALLY GOOD HK action films. Also, Jackie Chan's son is in it.

My current ranking for the second batch(there are several I've seen before, but I'll hold my opinion until I've watched them anew this time)is:

Red Cliff

Invisible Target

Shinobi: Heart Under Blade

Guard Post

I don't really think my enjoyment of the film really just stemmed from the superficial either. The movie had some pretty compelling and moving scenes that really got to me. Like when the woman is being raped while her husband's corpse is being dragged away as her son looks on. That really got to me.

Also if you are a fan of cult cinema, which I think we all are, the movie gets to be even more fun, with its various homages to other classic samurai and western movies such as Yojimbo, and of course, Django.

The best way to enjoy the movie is to just realize it's silly (and all the Japanese actors are speaking broken English) and sit back and enjoy it. Different movies are good for different reasons. While Running Wild was an excellent stark character study and exploration on morality and the themes of justice, Sukiyaki Western Django is a stylish explosion of energy meant for the entertainment of the cult film fan.

Okay I'll admit, it dragged the teensiest bit in parts at the end.

sorry

1)What the fuck is it about?

2)Seriously, what the fuck is it about?

3)Is Laura Dern's actress character the same as the white trash character or are they totally unrelated?

4)Seriously, I can't stress this enough- what the fuck is going on?

5)What was the LSD per person ratio on that set?

Anyhoo, the good Mrs. Jarv hated it so much she is refusing to watch another David Lynch film which is a crying shame as we have both Blue Velvet and The Elephant Man queued.

Since no one is here to argue with me about it, I'm going to 'jump' right in with my thoughts on "The Machine Girl". I can appreciate this film not only because I am basically an unsophisticated and uncultured heathen who enjoys an occasional schlockfest, but also because the opening scene brought a thought to my head that I personally consider a high compliment for a film: This would be a great drive-in movie!

One of my favorite childhood memories is spending a summer night at a low-dough-carload-show, especially when they would have a movie marathon lasting until sunrise. It sounds weird, but watching "Machine Girl" gave me that nostalgia rush. There's nothing deep about this film. It's made for pulling giggles (or guffaws, from you macho types), gasps,groans, and gaggings from the audience. Even with the premise of a serious theme, it cannot be taken seriously and doesn't try. My 12 year old nephew walked in while I was watching the invasion of the red ninjas and literally fell over laughing, then took it home with him when I was done. That boy has my taste in movies!

That being said, I know I sound like a killjoy, but it wasn't quite the great schlock it could have been. Best scene in MG, was when the main villain is defeated in a fiasco that involves school boys losing bladder control and a drill bra.

Shinobi is odd, because it sneaks up on you. It's firmly rooted in the over the top asian supherhero genre, but it really works quite well. If Machine Girl was drive-in, Shinobi is that flick you would catch on channel 54 on a saturday afternoon.

How was everyone's weekend?

"I'll give you an example (forgive my rambling, long post). There's a talkbacker at this site named Jonah Echo who I've noticed is particularly fond of Moriarty. He's in this talkback as well praising Mori for speaking out against Massa. I've noticed him for a while and he writes these posts to Mori which read like glowing love letters. He wrote one in response to the "Fear, Itself" episode Mori wrote (and several other articles as well) and I remember checking back on the talkback to see if Mori responded to him, and sure enough, he didn't.

Then, Moriarty had written this open letter to Harvey Weinstein about some movie called "Outlander", and not only did Jonah Echo praise Mori again, but he and a few others sat in that talkback everyday posting and talking in order to keep that article at the top of the most discussed talkbacks to increase the chance that it would be noticed. He even occasionally yelled out, "For Outlander!", LOL! It was one of the lamest things I've seen, like a group of mentally challenged kids re-enacting the scene from "The Outsiders" where they say, "Let's do it for Johnny, man! Do it for Johnny!" LOL! (I'm kidding, Jonah). They did this for days, so I know Moriarty saw this.

Well, I didn't read that talkback, it was huge, but I checked back out of curiosity and just scrolled to the bottom once everyone had stopped posting just to see if there was a black box there. You know, just a few words from Moriarty saying, "Hey, thanks for doing this guys", or "You guys rock!", or "You guys could be in the special olympics", you know, something. But there was nothing. Not a word. Sometimes you learn more about a person from what they don't say than what they do."

I find this very amusing.

I got popped by Toad and Jonah over the weekend.

So I'm down 1,024 to 7 to Toad and 1-0 to Jonah.

Sighhhh.

On a different note, I assume that none of you have seen Inland Empire, or if you have can't help me out.

Avoid Visitor Q.

Kungfu, I still haven't watched Western Django. Like an idiot, it was between that an Dynamite Warrior on Saturday and you know what I went with.

Jarv, Lynch is so hit and miss I can't blame your wife from banning him completely.

Jarv, I'll try and see if there are some plausible explanations for the film. I wasn't quite swept away by it enough to warrant the same level of interest I gave Mulholland Drive, a better film with similar themes and premise.

I think you are essentially watching the deterioration of Laura Dern's character's mental state and spiritual well being, but then again who knows.

Mrs. Jarv shouldn't give up so easily. Show her the Straight Story and The Elephant Man. Both are easily Lynch's most linear and coherent movies.

Second off, I never got the impression that you wanted to make love to Mori or give birth to his hellspawn.

Third, to say this group is this or that is pointless.

We are what we are.

People that talk about movies, joke around and have a good time.

And as Dutch told Dillon in Predator: "Instead of complaining why don't you help out"

In other words, jump in and have fun. We are not a group that is going to attack, even when provoked (well sometimes we do, but that is a case by case basis).

I would just ignore it, move on and maybe chuckle a bit.

But the bigger issue is that these things are non-issues. I encourage Mori in his script-writing because I'd rather do that, then slag him, even if he did suck. Personally, I didnt think skin and bones sucked. I liked it, and focused on the good instead of the flaws, because I would want that. I wouldnt want butt kissing, but I would want encouragement as well as criticism.

Such is my life, and the nature of it, that I dont look up to Mori, or envy him, or anything else. As far as I'm concerned the heroes of AICN are people like you, HOD, and these other guys here. Mori isnt any different than any of us, save for the good fortune to work in the industry. And if he keeps stooping to the level of trolls, he will at various times be no better than his critics.

But Massa had no business posting the beating up a retard thing. I responded to that because I was a Special Ed teacher for 3 years, and saw things like that happen, and I recognize real hate speech when I see it.

And I loved Lost Highway and Mullholland Drive, so I was much more tolerant of it than she was. It did still leave me cold.

Sadly, Elephant Man is up next, but she's dropped the Axe on it altogether. I'm kicking myself, actually, because I'd done the Groundwork with Twin Peaks, Dune and Wild at Heart- but Inland Empire just pissed her off.

But I just fail to get that caught up in it to publicy decry what someone else is doing.

To be more clear, if someone was writing personal love letters to Harry I would find it amusing, but I wouldn't care enough to write in and harp about ass kissing.

Tons of heart in that movie.

I don't think you or Mrs. Jarv missed anything, because there wasn't really anything to miss. Everything you could see Lynch gave you, but the point is, sometimes there isn't a sensible reason or explanation for what Lynch gave you. He burned the blueprints on Inland Empire and thus shafted his audience. Elephant Man is about human dignity and finding that humanity wherever it may lie, and soldiering on in the face of cruelty and misfortune. It's a terrific film, and it would be a crime not to see it because of the bloated, silly Inland Empire.

I'd been on a bit of a roll, frankly, until Inland Empire. I basically decided to fill in gaps in her Cinema knowledge (of shlock in some cases) as there is a huge amount that she hasn't seen. So I'd hit Amadeus, The Untouchables (I can't believe she hadn't seen that), The Game, The Third Man, Kind Hearts and Coronets (Which is the best British film, ever,) to name a few.

And then, feeling confident I waded into Lynch. Twat that I am.

And for the record, I don't understand Massa's reviews either. They are gibberish. Then again, so are Harry's. After Crystal Skull, I stopped reading reviews on this site altogether.

Hola Jarv - nice to have you back.

And here's your interesting trivia. In the original script, the shootout between Ness/Stone and Capone's men was to take place on a train. But the studio balked at the idea because they claimed it would be cost prohibitive to find and restore a train from that era. So DePalma altered it to be int he station and used the shootout from Potemkin as a reference.

I mean show somebody Eraserhead and then the Straight Story.

Then tell them the same director did both and watch them do a double take.

It's tough.

I maintain though, that Connery did not, on any sane planet, deserve his Oscar for that performance.

By which I mean The Untouchables, not Potemkin.

In reverse order-

4)Iron Man- didn't give a fuck about it. Amazed by RDJ. Maintain film would have been gash without him.

3)Doomsday. Messy, incomprehensible, hystericaly insane stuff. Future cult classic.

2)Hellboy 2. Didn't give a fuck about it- absolutely amazed

1)TDK. Yes, I know it isn't perfect, but I haven't seen anything this year to touch it.

Iron Man- 4.5/5

Speed Racer-4/5

Prince Caspian- 4/5

Montana Williams and the Empire of the Obsidian Cranium- 3.5/5

Son of Rambow- 4/5

The Fall-5/5

Mongol-3.5/5

Kung-Fu Panda-4/5

The Incredible Hulk-3.5/5

The Happening-1.5/5

Reprise-4/5

Priceless-3/5

Wall-E-5/5

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D- 3/5

Hellboy 2-4.5/5

The Dark Knight 5/5

X-Files: I Want to Believe 3.5/5

Transsiberian-4/5

Tell No One-4.5/5

Tropic Thunder 4/5

2. The Dark Knight-It really is a great film and a masterpiece of comic book adaptation. I'm sure this one will only rise in my opinion.

WALL-E- Another masterpiece. I think these top three films are just classics, that even with their flaws were about as perfect as most modern films get.

4. HB2: The Golden Army-most fun movie of the summer hands down for me. I was totally into this at every turn. Wonderful.

5. Tell No One-This one actually does feel like Hitchcock, and it's not just a word to describe the fact the film is a suspense picture with accused on the run, murders and secrets. It's a pretty special movie as far as thrillers go.

Kung-Fu Panda in Imax-again, expected very little and was surprised by how great and gorgeous the movie looks, and how warm-hearted it is. And ontop of all that, it's actually exciting, funny and it's kung-fu battles have intensity and wit.

Incredible Hulk-I really like the Ang Lee version of Hulk, but didn't save much hope for this. And yet, while not perfect, I had a great time with it, and felt they did a better job here of capturing the comic book's identity.

The Fall-yea, I hoped it would be good, but I HATED The Cell, and didnt suspect this could pull it's premise together. Congrats Tarsem. This is the most extreme turn around I've ever seen.

Son of Rambow-It's so sweet and funny and nostalgic that it catches you by surprise, because you expect formula and you get heart.

While I liked both of them, Indy 4 and X-Files were both disappointments because while delivering reasonably good movies, the creators of both seemed to have lost sight of their creation. The actors have not and they struggle to bring dignity to these people, and in all cases, they succeeded, but the creators and the creation in both instances seem to be somewhat estranged.

1.) The Dark Knight - yes, the hype was beyond control and there circumstances that made it have more interest from the masses (Ledger's death). But this really was a great movie to behold.

2.) WALL-E - Another Pixar gem that has tons of heart. When his friend holds his hand at the end and you think his personality is gone and it reappears...Gold!

3.) Iron Man - Like Jarv said above, RDJ really pushed this film to another level, but I still think it would have worked well enough if he had just mailed in his performance.

That really is all I had time for, as nobody told me just how much time a newborn takes up. Whew...

Princess Aurora - good solid flick. I really enjoyed this one Hawaiian.

Mr. Socrates - haven't finished it, but kind of blah to it. Not really feeling it, nor the lead either. Will finish it at some point and see if it picks up any steam.

Before the Devil Knows your Dead - Marissa......oops, sorry...dazed off a bit there. Good movie. Liked how it turned out, but not crazy about the choice of hopping back and forth in the timeline. I don't think it worked so much for this movie. Still, good movie.

The Bank Job - another solid movie. I liked it.

You know the guy can deliver, so it is just a matter of time before he regroups, deflates his ego a bit and maybe directs a quality script from someone else.

I love that.

Princess Aurora was a surprisingly good movie, given the fact it's similar to Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, and I saw it after that one.

Jarv, I thought the same thing bout Panda, and I only went because we were going on a double date with friends, and they wanted to see it. But it won me over, and not just by the end. I'd say I was perhaps 15 minutes into the film, and already a fan.

The day of the Bear is fast approaching....

Then again there is that panda bit in Tropic Thunder. Hilarious.

And although Panda's are a truly shit bear, they do not bother with nonsense such as "kung fu". Not when they can chomp you.

Polar bears, black bears, grizzly bears, panda bears...all must unite if they are to overcome this "cuddly label" that Hollywood has unjustifiably thrown at them.

Good stuff and NOTHING cuddly about this bear.

Sequel was in the works back in the day featuring George Clooney and Charlie Sheen, but it never happened.

And that Shardik suggestion is fucking brilliant.

Care Bears

Paddington Bear

I love the idea of Bear rehab with a group of Pandas at BA (Bamboo Anonymous) that have to take turns to stand up and blame "bear" pressure for their vegetation habit.

THat was one shit bear.

Also they hunt the hunters that hunt them in the wild.

Cool bears (no pun intended).

Bear battles = $$$

Also have humans caught in the crossfire.

2) TDK - Great flick, and I did not even try to hold it to the hype surrounding it, nothing could survive that. But it has some great things going for it(Ledger) and some things that still bug me (the whole Harvey Dent storyline and Batman taking blame). However, it was epic and very entertaining.

3) Speed Racer -Let the haters be damned. This was a rollicking good time. Once again, I am a very long time fan of the cartoon, and they nailed it here, to my absolute astonishment. Did not think it could be pulled off, and it is the most visually stunning movie I have seen in a very long time. This will be the Tron of it's generation. Meaning: It did not get much love at first, but the visual impact will last far into the future.

4)Tropic Thunder -It was a bit uneven, and not a lagh riot throughout, but I did enjoy it, and it had some insanely funny moments. My favorite is when Jack Black is tied to the tree, going through heroin withdrawal. Ok, that sounded wrong. It was the things he said while going through withdrawal that are breathtakingly funny. Cruise was great as well.

5) Wall-E. A cute story. Maybe too cute. It just did not have the impact that it could/should have had on me. And I still do not know why. Perhaps the lack of dialogue did it in. The visuals are great, but it just seemd lacking. The story is not as funny as the trailers led me to beleive, and while Eve and Wall-e are meant for one another, I still never felt there was any peril. 6) Hulk - great realization of the comic book Hulk. And really, that is what most fans wanted to see. Hulk Smash! (Don't start Node!)

7) Indy IV - Ford was great. He can do more Indy's and be very believable. They screwed up adding Shia. I know it was done to appeal to younger demographics and perhaps launch a new franchise, but it distracted from Ford. The story was terrible though with or without Shia. Lackluster direction and too much CGI!

8) Hellboy II - just could not get into it. I loved the first movie. It had a sense of warmth and family as well as kicks ass action. This felt bloated and self-important as well as self-indulgent. Lots of left over character design from Pans, as well as ripped -off MIB allusions and a terrible and boring, villain.

There is other stuff.

9) Hancock - started out great, but felt like they rushed the ending. 90 min is too short for this type of movie. Great idea, that got was never fully realized.

10) Wanted - Some great visuals, but really a boring, uninvolving story with charcaters you could care less about.

Can you imagine if they deviated from the novel and had him have a final showdown with the bear?

And were the fake trailers not great? When they started playing Enigma in the middle of the Satan's Alley trailer I lost it.

No. 6 is Hulk

The only summer movies I saw were Indy 4, Baby Mama and The Love Guru. By that measuring stick it would be the worst summer ever. Speed Racer and Iron man come out this month so I'm sure I can start to readjust my opinion.

JPT, yeah on Princess Aurora! Sorry about Mr. Socrates. I liked it. Thankfully so did Danny and Jonah but if it isn't for you, then go ahead and try something else and here's hoping.

Eventually you guys are going to ignore me completely. I'm the one guy who seems to like the movies reviled by everyone else. I think the only times I stopped laughing during Dewey Cox was when I was guzzling a beer.

This may be old news to The Four but new news to others.

The origin comes from the movie Midnight Run and the Mob boss Jimmy Serano - played by Dennis Farina. He threatens to stab people through the heart with a pencil!

Also, I gave you a positive shout-out above. Did you catch it?

Bart has shown he can establish a menacing nature in The Edge and a more light-hearted spin on the man-eating genre in The Great Outdoors.

Bart was the Cary Grant of bears.

Yes, I said the Cary Grant of bears.

Angyiou lives in Ivujivik, a village of 300 people on the shore of Hudson Bay in northern Quebec.

One Wednesday evening earlier this month, Angyiou was walking near the village community center with her two sons when a group of children playing street hockey nearby started shouting and pointing frantically.

Angyiou, 41, turned around and saw a polar bear sizing up her 7-year-old son.

She told the children to run and raced around to get between the bear and her son. Then she started kicking and punching the animal, according to police reports.

In a flash, the bear swatted her in the face and she fell on her back. With the bear on top of her, Angyiou began kicking her legs in a bicycle-pedaling motion. She was swatted once more and rolled over, but the bear moved toward her again.

Siqualuk Ainalik heard the commotion and came rushing over. Seeing Angyiou wrestling with the bear, he ran to his brother's home, grabbed a rifle and headed back to the street. He fired a few warning shots.

The sound diverted the bear's attention from Angyiou just long enough for him to aim and fire again. According to police, Ainalik fired four shots into the bear before it finally died.

With the help of some neighbors, Angyiou made it to the home of Nelson Conn, a constable with the Kativik Regional Police Force.

"She came in in a panic," Conn recalled. "She was obviously in shock. She was saying, 'Bear, bear.' I just took her over to our nursing station and I asked where and if the bear was dead. She said, 'Yes.'"

Remarkably, Angyiou suffered only a couple of scratches and a black eye. She and the local police have been fielding calls from across Canada ever since the incident was first reported last week in the Nunatsiaq News.

Meanwhile, villagers are still marveling at her courage, and there is talk of nominating her for a bravery medal.

"I've been here 24 years and I've never seen this before," said Larry Hubert, a regional captain with the police force who arrived on the scene just after the bear was shot. "For sure, she saved the kids' lives."

Hubert has known Angyiou for 15 years and he can't believe she took on a bear. He said the bear measured eight feet in length and weighed at least 700 pounds.

Angyiou "is about 5-foot-nothing and 90 pounds on a wet day," Hubert said with a laugh. "She's pretty quiet. I'm surprised she went and did this.

"But I guess when your back is up against the wall, I guess we come up with super-human strength."

Ivujivik is Quebec's northernmost community, situated on a peninsula where the Hudson Bay meets the Hudson Strait.

While polar bears roam the giant ice packs that float just off shore, Hubert said it's rare for them to wander into the village. He said he believes the bear that tangled with Angyiou became disoriented and was not looking for food.

"She's lucky the bear wasn't hungry," he said. "If the bear was hungry, she would have been eaten pretty quickly."

Loved it when the cub thinks he has bitched the mountian lion, only to realize it was papa bear.

Damn good stuff.

The Restless may have been a stinker, I can't remember. I just love the lead (same guy from Daisy) and thought the effects were actually very good, especially that end sequence.

Damn that is impressive and I saw a television special on the trainers and they seem pretty laid back and cool.

Wouldn't want to trespass on their property, as they probably have a few bears we've never heard of trained to sick balls like Chopper.

Jesus, bears as guards would be tough to get around.

Part one of Red Cliff is still in theaters in Asia so I'm not sure how we managed to get a DVD quality version of it already. Part two opens in January so we could potentially have it as early as late February.

Given this bit of news, maybe I'll bump Romance of the Three Kingdoms to this week, and save Restless for next week.

It's just an entertaining little movie. I didn't send you anything I thought was crap. I had screened everything but the Guard Post and risked that because you personally requested it.

An Empress was generally panned and you might despise it, but for me, it's a sword and sandals epic and even though Danny can't stand them, I could watch one a week. You know those people complaining about too many massive CGI armies in movies by the time ROTK came out? Not me, brother. To me that's like complaining there's too many shootouts in movies. I mean, hasn't the shootout been done to death by now? It's the staple of 95% of Ahnuld's movies. But when do you ever hear someone saying, "Oh Christ, another shootout?"

I could watch CGI armies 1 out of every 10 movies I watch. Never gets old to me. So by that logic, Empress and Three Kingdoms entertained me even though I realize they were weak movies.

Musa the Warrior worked terrifically as a battle film. But, Warriors of Heaven and Earth was a relatively weak epic in the same vein.

Curse of the Golden Flower was a great film, and I loved Hero and House of Flying Daggers. By that same token, I disliked stuff like A Man Called Hero.

With me, the film needs to have it's battles exist as an extension of story, and the battles need to have personality and style, and incorporate characters in an interesting way. Right now, Woo gets major points for the turtle shell tactic in Red Cliff because of the way it gives the battle itself character, and also literally creates corridors that open up on individual characters and give them moments within the battle to shine.

Then the camera pulls back and they are about three feet from another.

Classic.

He also runs out of bullets and just grabs a handful and throws the bullets into the row of enemies and uses a chicken as an arrow.

Hot Shots also gave us the dreaded eye disease known as Wall-Eye vision.