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Massawyrm takes a bullet called BANKOK DANGEROUS and takes a few shots back!!!

;Lame by Harold-Sherbort	Sep 5th, 2008 09:41:35 AM

Fuckup Loser Errand Boy by Sam_Keith_Wannabe	Sep 5th, 2008 09:45:04 AM
God I hope it's Short Round.
Damn tab button. by Harold-Sherbort	Sep 5th, 2008 09:45:53 AM
But yeah, this movie looks awful. I wish Nic Cage would go go back to the good ol' days. LLL, Adaptation, Raising Arizona, the guys done some great work. I hope Knowing brings him around again.
"As lifeless as the eyes of a bored stripper" by greyspecter	Sep 5th, 2008 09:48:45 AM
that's gold, Jerry, Gold!
hollywood remakes tend to blow by palewook	Sep 5th, 2008 09:55:15 AM
see the original, it's not bad for an action film. (imdb link below) http://tinyurl.com/6qcn3g
"hasn't exactly been on a winning streak" by ArcadianDS	Sep 5th, 2008 10:00:40 AM
The Rock Leaving Las Vegas National Treasure Unless by 'winning streak' you mean "last two movies" then okay I get it. But honestly, you talk as if he's not made a successful film in 20 years, and the truth is if you look at the stats, he's had quite a few big hits - seems like about every other movie he is in makes a good amount of cash. Thats about average for mid-level Hollywood leads.
also, very well written review by ArcadianDS	Sep 5th, 2008 10:04:12 AM
This was an excellent essay. Can you print a copy and mail it to Harry?
Fuck it. I'll watch it anyway and here's why.......... by Stuntcock Mike	Sep 5th, 2008 10:07:21 AM
http://it.youtube.com/watch?v= Z1fEnhawu_k
Too much hair dye by lonestaricon	Sep 5th, 2008 10:19:07 AM
I like Cage. I like National Treasure 1 & 2. I like Michael Bay & Jerry Bruckheimer. What I don't like is Cage's hair color in this film. Dying hair black peeves me because it never and I mean NEVER looks good. Black hair die makes real hair look fake and fake hair is so damn distracting that all I can see or think about is what a shitty dye job and who does this f-cker think he or she is fooling. Sorry Nicolas, but I had to get that off my chest.
Oh no, not the bees...! by Nasty In The Pasty	Sep 5th, 2008 10:19:52 AM
Not the bees...AHHHHHHH!!!!! THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
No mention of this being a remake in the review? by Harry Weinstein	Sep 5th, 2008 10:29:57 AM
Not only that, no mention of it being a remake by the same people who made the original? Only in the original the ASSASSIN was the deaf-mute. Not that it makes this worthwhile, but it certainly rates a mention. Google=your buddy.
taking a risk? by dingus khan	Sep 5th, 2008 10:43:32 AM
adaptation was pretty sure fire. great cast/director. 8mm was schumacher CRAP. leaving las vegas was a very well written script. i wouldn't say any of those were "risks"...except 8mm, but that didn't pan out (for me). nicholas cage is (now) boring again. there seems to be minimal effort on his part which is a shame, because i have liked him before.
The Original by landocolt45	Sep 5th, 2008 10:44:13 AM
I loved the original of this and once I saw the trailer with Cage TALKING, I was totally horrified that they made the movie that way. It would have been a better movie had Cage NOT talked like the Joe in the original Thai version, which is heartbreaking and brutal in it's own way. It's a shame that the Pang Bros have sold out as it were and just put out sub-par movies now that they have bigger budgets to work with. They need to stick with smaller budgets because they have made some good movies with less money.
I'm really sorry Massa' . . . by Nice Marmot	Sep 5th, 2008 10:47:22 AM
. . . unless you weren't required to watch this film. Cause I gave this the same exact review after just seeing the trailer. If a pistol in each hand (sweeet, he's crossin' his arms to shoot now) and bullets flying in slow motion were outlawed, modern Hollywood would be shit out of luck.
Here's why Ill watch it and you should too by xevoid	Sep 5th, 2008 10:53:58 AM
Bangkok is a fantastic city. I've been there a few times, and am going back in November. It's an incredible place, full of amazing things. The food is absolutely incredible. The food you buy off the street is great; yes, the women are all that you imagine and more; the poverty is crippling, the modernism of downtown Bangkok is amazing too. There's a huge aquarium right underneath a major shopping center downtown with a frozen super-giant squid in it. The statues of the Bhuddas everywhere and the temples are amazing. You should watch it because I hear they really do show off all that Bangkok has to offer, and I suspect I will recognize a lot of the places they show. If you get tired of Bangkok, btw, go to Phuket, just down south, for one of the best little-known resort islands in the world but one of the top 5 scuba diving destinations. Right where I learned to dive.
HOW'D IT GET BURNED? HOW'DITGETBURNED? by Big Jim	Sep 5th, 2008 10:55:22 AM
Does he dress as a bear and punch a woman in the face? How about dress as a woman and punch a bear in the face?
Massawyrm has done it again... by oaser	Sep 5th, 2008 11:08:19 AM
Your reviews, sir, are brilliant. I will gladly kiss your ass any day. I know that you get shafted with movies sometimes (Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium) but I love when you write about them. Please keep up the excellent work.
"He falls for a deaf mute..." by topaz4206	Sep 5th, 2008 11:18:01 AM
"He falls for a deaf mute drugstore employee for no other reason than she looks cute." What other possible reason would there be to hook up with a deaf mute?
meh.... by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Sep 5th, 2008 11:18:59 AM
this is the kinda movie ill rent, go home and pour a nice tall glass of rum-and-coke and get drunk watching it...certain movies coupled with inebriation makes for a rather entertaining experience, come to think of it...i might rent Postal some time soon and indulge my need for alcohol-fueled-movie-watching
Speaking of the original . . . by Supernatural_Canary	Sep 5th, 2008 11:25:21 AM
One of the things I liked so much about the deaf-mute assassin was the way the directors played up the fact that he was so good at what he did because, not being able to hear the gunshot, he never blinked his eyes at the sound of the bang. (For those of you who saw it, remember the super-slow motion shot of the main character firing a gun, the bullet ejecting from the barrel, but his eyes staying open the whole time? Fantastic!) The character’s inability to hear gave him an intense, zen-like aura, which has undoubtedly been excised from the remake. I think I’ll pass. (Oh, and 8MM is a piece of crap! ADAPTATION, brilliant. BRINGING OUT THE DEAD, brilliant. 8MM shouldn’t be mentioned when talking about good Cage vehicles.)
Cage and 8MM by Supernatural_Canary	Sep 5th, 2008 11:28:51 AM
To be fair, the problem with the movie was more about the material itself than what Cage did with it. A truly dreadful script.
To hell with this I'm going to rewatch by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Sep 5th, 2008 11:37:55 AM
The Mechanic and toast the late great Charles Bronson.
"He's a great actor"??? by One Nation Under Zod	Sep 5th, 2008 11:38:31 AM
You're fucking kidding me, right? This guy is a hamebone hack who's stumbled onto a few roles that worked for him pretty well because they properly utilized his forced and unbalanced persona. And 8mm?? What tripe. You could fill out a notebook page with titles of movies he's appeared in that suck my ass. Get bent.
I Want To Take His Face. Off. by DKT	Sep 5th, 2008 11:40:49 AM
Ah, back when Nic Cage made good action movies. Yeah, this particularly movie looked stale in the trailers. No more drugs for that man.
Sorry brotha Stuntcock Mike by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Sep 5th, 2008 11:42:10 AM
There's cheesy goodness, and then there's crap. That Cage link falls into the latter. That plus they stole the Lethal Weapon 2 bad guy head slammed in the car door kill.
And one other thing by One Nation Under Zod	Sep 5th, 2008 11:43:19 AM
Take any of his so-called "good" performances: Pluck out Cage and substitute some other doosh like Greg Kinnear... Not one fuckin' difference.
Okay Mike I apologize by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Sep 5th, 2008 11:44:42 AM
I stopped the clip early on, but watched a little more. It was worth it for the fryolator.
That's like the old joke by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Sep 5th, 2008 11:45:39 AM
How did Helen Keller burn her face? Bobbing for french fries.
Am I The Only One by rogueleader66	Sep 5th, 2008 11:46:44 AM
Who liked Ghost Rider? I never really read the comic, so I guess i went in with no preconceived notions. My g/f and I both enjoyed it, so I am wondering why all the hate towards it?
Cage needs a script reader by TVguy4566	Sep 5th, 2008 11:50:12 AM
I don't think there is another actor who has A-List potential who picks worse scripts. Even his biggest hits over the last decade have been more lucky than a solid story. Face Off was a horrible movie script-wise, but it was an enjoyable action flick because of Cage's and Travolta's performances and Woo's direction. Same thing with Con Air which was saved by the performances by solid actors. I still don't get why the National Treasures were hits. They were nothing but Indiana Jones rip offs. Snake Eyes is arguably one of Brian DePalma's worst movies. Wicker Man was unwatchable. 8MM was daring for the subject matter, but was rather boring considering the subject matter. Ghost Rider was only a few notches about the Fantastic Four movies in terms of comics movies. The sad thing for him is that he could be one of the premiere action stars in the world right now if he knew how to pick the right movies. Maybe he has Vin Deisel reading his scripts.
rogueleader66 by TVguy4566	Sep 5th, 2008 11:51:23 AM
Well, I hear Nicholas Cage's mother really enjoyed Ghost Rider. So, I guess the answer is no.
OK, lets be fair.... by One Nation Under Zod	Sep 5th, 2008 12:16:15 PM
Here is every movie this loser has appeared in in the last 15 years: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) --I shudder to think…. Bangkok Dangerous (2008) --Horrible. National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) --I want to slap his toupee off. Next (2007) --Terrible. Grindhouse (2007) --Good cameo. Less is more. Ghost Rider (2007) --Fuck you. The Wicker Man (2006) --An insult to a true classic. World Trade Center (2006) --Heavy-handed, hammy, boring. The Ant Bully (2006) (voice) --Satisfactory. The Weather Man (2005) --Horrible. Lord of War (2005) --Generic and tripe. National Treasure (2004) --This is a franchise? Matchstick Men (2003) --“Please think of me as an actor” Adaptation. (2002) --The best thing he’s ever done. Windtalkers (2002) --Horrible. Christmas Carol: The Movie (2001) --Meh. It sucked. Not his fault. Captain Corelli's Mandolin (2001) --Braindead. The Family Man (2000) --Substitute Greg Kinnear. No change. Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) --Crap. Bringing Out the Dead (1999) --The third best thing he’s done. 8MM (1999) --Cheese-Cheese-cheese. Snake Eyes (1998) --Crap. City of Angels (1998) --Crap. Face/Off (1997) --Not good. Con Air (1997) --Drop the bunny. The Rock (1996) --His least offensive action movie. Leaving Las Vegas (1995) --second best thing he’s done. Kiss of Death (1995/I) --lame Trapped in Paradise (1994) --Lame It Could Happen to You (1994) --Crap. Guarding Tess (1994) --Crap. Amos & Andrew (1993) --What the fuck. Samuel L. wasted Deadfall (1993) --Anyone remember this? I thought not. So yeah… I can TOTALLY see why he’s a great actor…. Right up there with all time greats like John Larroquette and Steve Guttenberg.
Wild at Heart by shivester	Sep 5th, 2008 12:56:39 PM
Don't forget that title in any honour list for Cage. That's one of his best. Raising Arizona and Birdy were good too. Adaptation is his best. Conair was a camp action masterpiece of sorts.
As lifeless as the eyes of a bored stripper... by Bill Brasky	Sep 5th, 2008 01:13:45 PM
Bill Brasky once walked into a strip club....and the dancers filled up HIS pants with money!!!! Here's to Bill Brasky!!!!
I'm waiting... by p0llk4t	Sep 5th, 2008 01:40:51 PM
For Moriarty to review this review before I decide...
How many Nick Cage movies do you rewatch? by p0llk4t	Sep 5th, 2008 01:50:55 PM
Only Raising Arizona holds up. And based on track record and talent, I would give the credit for that to the the Coen brothers.
Memories-Of-Murder by TVguy4566	Sep 5th, 2008 01:58:00 PM
Con Air was just dumb cotton candy of a movie. It wasn't a good movie, but it was a mild guilty pleasure of a movie because it was so dumb and loud. And I do believe that good actors who don't take their material too seriously in a a dumb action movie can raise it above stupid dreak status. Con Air was a bad movie, but it was a fun bad movie. It is a movie you go in and turn your mind off for 2 hours. Sometimes those movies are worth the price of admission or at least a DVD rental or a watching on cable.
p0llk4t by TVguy4566	Sep 5th, 2008 02:00:25 PM
I can still watch Face Off although I mostly do it if it is on cable and there is nothing else on and I usually start watching midway through. I assume Fast Times at Ridgemont High doesn't count.
What the fuck by picardsucks	Sep 5th, 2008 02:08:04 PM
The Pang Bros are usually fucking great, whay the fuck would the put Nic Cage in anything?? Wanna see a great Pang Bros. film watch the Detective with Aaron Kwok, fucking brilliant and quite chilling. Why is it that when a talented HK director (whether it's the Pangs or John Woo), who typically makes better movies than anyone in Hollywood, gets involved with Hollywood and fumbles the ball.
as my fellow olegers know, cage's best was deadfall by ironic_name	Sep 5th, 2008 02:16:30 PM
tinyurl.com/5uu6ad
I agree on the "chance chance on Adaptation and Leaving Las Vega by Aeghast	Sep 5th, 2008 02:21:58 PM
Disagree on the "8mm" part
One Nation Under Zod, you better KNOW I remember deadfall! by ironic_name	Sep 5th, 2008 02:22:40 PM
darkwing duck! bang! cock! danger! us!
tinyurl.com/5uu6ad by ironic_name	Sep 5th, 2008 02:24:46 PM
cage's true skill in the genre theater pantheon is terrifying.
Here's to Bill Brasky!!!! by ironic_name	Sep 5th, 2008 02:27:19 PM
huzzah!
Brother Cleric, good things come to those who wait. by Stuntcock Mike	Sep 5th, 2008 02:28:04 PM
That Deadfall shit was priceless.
Moriarity... by One Nation Under Zod	Sep 5th, 2008 02:30:46 PM
Needs to finish that fucking Rambo/Dirty Harry Series...
ironic_name by One Nation Under Zod	Sep 5th, 2008 02:33:21 PM
Cmon man... really? REALLY?
man, I been talkin' bout deadfall most of the day in the zone by ironic_name	Sep 5th, 2008 02:46:22 PM
turns out my brothas had forgotten his masterful portrait of a man on the edge. a subtle, nuanced melengé of batshit crazy and bugfuck nuts.
his next film is "cardinalé action!" by ironic_name	Sep 5th, 2008 02:49:20 PM
tinyurl.com/6n8dln
Crazy old Nicolas Cage, hmmmmm? by Series7	Sep 5th, 2008 02:50:37 PM
Crazy old Nic Cage. Hmmm. Lafou, I'm afraid I've been thinking [Lefou:] A dangerous pastime [Hollywood:] I know But that whacky old coot is a Mega Star And his sanity's only "so-so" Now the wheels in my head have been turning Since I gave an Oscar to that loony, old man See, I've promised myself he'd make smart decisions by now And right now I'm evolving a plan If I . . . {whisper} [LeFou:] Yes? [Hollywood:]Then we . . . {whisper} [LeFou:]No! Would they? . . . [Hollywood:]{whisper} Guess! [LeFou:] Now I get it! [Both:] Let's go! No one chooses terrible roles like Nic Cage [Hollywood:] Punches women like the Cage [LeFou:] Acts like a mad man to earn a pay check like Nic Cage. [Hollywood] Yes, his endlessly, wildly entertaining [LeFou:] As down to the depths he descends [Hollywood:] He won't even be mildly remorseful [Both:] Just as long as he gets what he wants in the end [Hollywood:] Who has brains like Nic Cage? [LeFou:] Entertains like Nic Cage? [Both:] Who can make up these endless refrains like Nic Cage? [Chorus:] So his flop we soon'll be celebrating [Hollywood:] My, What a Guy. NIC CAGE! [Chorus:] Ten points for Nic Cage!
I say! by ironic_name	Sep 5th, 2008 02:58:41 PM
hip hip for that ruddy good show, old boy!
Con Air by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Sep 5th, 2008 03:39:18 PM
uuuummmm...i HATE that movie, seriously...his goofy-ass long haircut, country bumkin Alabama accent, and....well....really its the whole movie itself that rubs me the wrong way, its just dumb diddly dumb dumb dumb...but i cant say much, there is some shit i enjoy also...this is just a bit too shitty, even for me and my taste in guilty pleasures. i DID like The Rock though...mainly for Ed Harris, Sean Connery, Michael Biehn, and even Nicholas Cage....i enjoyed his geeky character, he was likeable enough in that movie.
how do you hate face off by Phategod2	Sep 5th, 2008 03:43:24 PM
Thats probably the only American Movie John Woo has done that doesn't suck.
Face-Off by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Sep 5th, 2008 03:53:58 PM
i liked it also, i mean its totally BS on so many different levels, but seeing Nic Cage and Travolta swapping roles and playing off each other was entertaining enough. in the beginning Face-Off was gonna be set in the future...which would have made WAY more sense given the crazy-bullshit operation needed to swap faces and body size is not possibly by todays standards...but they picked the present time instead, which made the whole thing feel out of place, but i enjoyed it none the less.
Face-Off between to over-actors by p0llk4t	Sep 5th, 2008 04:29:04 PM
Just because Face-Off was John Woo's best American movie doesn't mean it's good. It isn't completely unwatchable like Hard Target though...Hard Target had sparks shooting everywhere when bullets hit dirt and trees...and the Quaker Oats guy and Van Damne playing cajuns...Better green-light that shit!
The only good Nic Cage movie by zombiwolf	Sep 5th, 2008 04:54:25 PM
is 'Wild at Heart.'
Hey... by caruso_stalker217	Sep 5th, 2008 06:06:44 PM
Have ave you ever been dragged to the sidewalk and beaten til you PISSED-- BLOOD!?
The only thing cool about Cage.. by Stalkeye	Sep 5th, 2008 06:09:34 PM
..is that he got his stage name from Marvel's Luke Cage.He's a closet comic geek.What's not cool is that he named his son after Superman's Kryptonian moniker:Karlel?!?? You fucking idiot, his son will be getting his ass kicked the minute he enters Jr. High school.And he'll have you to thank for it. BTW me and the Wifey liked his part in Face off.Those goofy facial expressions were priceless.
Hard Target by skimn	Sep 5th, 2008 06:15:29 PM
Yea but I always love the line..."Your name's Chance?"...."Yea, cuz my mamma took one...", in that Belguim cajun accent..
And don't know what's on the top of his head by skimn	Sep 5th, 2008 06:19:00 PM
but saw Cage back-to-back nights on Letterman and Conan, and his hair was the exact same, down to the last wiry slightly mussed tendril.
Remember when those "Good" Nic Cage movies? by TheWaqman	Sep 5th, 2008 06:29:45 PM
Leaving Las Vegas and Adaptation? Man he was great in those.......
Hard fucking Target by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Sep 5th, 2008 06:37:38 PM
aaaahahahahahahaha that movie is THE SHIT!!! (and that can be taken BOTH ways). gotta love that jerry-curl mullet he had....classy. "hows the gumbo Chance"...."a tragedy"....."well it aint free neither"..., replace "gumbo" with "Hard Target".
Yea...Hard Target.. by skimn	Sep 5th, 2008 06:43:34 PM
C'mon, Arnold Vosloo and Lance Henriksen as the baddies...
BTW has anyone noticed that River Pheonix/Indy by skimn	Sep 5th, 2008 06:50:43 PM
is scary good. Damn, thats like wax museum good.
Retarded and misguided... by WhinyNegativeBitch	Sep 5th, 2008 07:04:46 PM
...You remake Bangkok Dangerous...and set it in Bangkok? Whats the fucking point? Why not just CG the white man into the original film? I mean, the original films sole merit was that they were able to make a stylish and slick action film on such a low budget. Otherwise it was a generic slab of asian crime cinema.
skimm by fartedinthefaceofhollywood	Sep 5th, 2008 07:11:07 PM
okay okay okay yeah Lance and Arnold (Vosloo) kick ass but they were such cookie-cutter villains in that movie.
Pang Brothers directed the original by Octaveaeon	Sep 5th, 2008 08:07:25 PM
just to clarify, since Massa doesn't mention it in his review.
Massawyrm, you neglected to mention Nic's Wardrobe by #1 Zero	Sep 5th, 2008 08:10:49 PM
Not to spoil anything, but I saw this movie today and through the first half of it, Nic is wearing gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. I think ever since "Heat" it should be a protocol that the anti-hero or badass in the hitman movies or crime movies should wear stylish clothes. Cage's wardrobe seriously had me thinking that he's just chomping on club sandwiches between takes and really not giving a fuck. Then in the second half he mixes it up with hawaiian shirts and a white cowboy hat. I don't know the wardrobe choices just made me laugh.
Let Cage & Tim Burton return to their SUPERMAN idea! by Bob Cryptonight	Sep 5th, 2008 10:16:21 PM
It might not end up working as a film, but it would be awesome to watch! Their last attempt stalled because of budget...but look at how much was spent on RETURNS!!! Come on, Cage in the costume--with his weird attitude---would be incredible!
Zods an asshole by optimus122	Sep 6th, 2008 05:22:16 AM
Con Air and Face Off were good movies. Blow me please , bow down before me Zod you clod.
2hrs and $7.50, I'll never get back by L Ray	Sep 6th, 2008 07:35:18 AM
The worm speaks true.
Come on - Face/Off very quotable by JackRabbitSlim	Sep 6th, 2008 07:46:24 AM
Face/Off easily has a line in my top 100 fave quotes "Now, I think I'll go home and ... fuck your wife. Ooops did i say fuck? I meant make love to!!!"
rogueleader66 by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Sep 6th, 2008 07:47:08 AM
I collected both the orignal, and re-release of the comics. It was a good popcorn flick, whichi is exactly what it was supposed to be.
this movie was fucking hysterical by Spandau Belly	Sep 6th, 2008 09:21:52 AM
I think it's a really good romantic comedy and a solid entry into the Nicolas Cage Genre.
ConsiderMeMilesDavie & optimus122... by One Nation Under Zod	Sep 6th, 2008 11:41:33 AM
Thank you for your thoughts on me and my opinions. Optimus, you are a fool. Con-Air is utter shit. You really dropped the bunny on that one, pal.
http://i33.tinypic.com/sxi0sz.jp g by ironic_name	Sep 6th, 2008 01:20:33 PM

A GREAT Nic Cage impression... by Mr. Nice Gaius	Sep 6th, 2008 02:44:00 PM
...can be found here on YouTube: http://tinyurl.com/5envdz
skimn by Munro Kelly	Sep 6th, 2008 04:05:05 PM
I agree, about the River Pheonix sculpture. That's one of the best I've seen.
I don't know how good the movie is by Orbots Commander	Sep 6th, 2008 07:04:39 PM
but I couldn't help laughing at the trailer when I saw it; it looked like another weird toupee Nic Cage movie. Dude, take a note from Bruce Willis and let the hairline go. You're not fooling anybody.

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